Marisa, 38, Lecturer in Food Science and Nutrition at Cal Poly | Templeton, CA

I have some friends focused more on their home and child rearing, and some focused more on their careers, and I want to do both and fully belong to both but I have a challenge balancing the two worlds. I always felt like I didn't belong to either world as a parent. Because when I'm with my kids, I feel 100% devoted to them. And yet, I feel 100% devoted to my career choice, too, and in growing professionally. And so I'm inadequate in both worlds.

I have experienced plenty of outright judgment where comments were made, and it was pretty clear that I was a mom failure. Or that I was hovering too much- I was too involved in certain aspects when I needed to let go more. But probably most of that judgment resides in my own self: that I am never enough, no matter how hard I try, in whatever it is that I'm focused on- it’s going to be inadequate.

I think that when you think about motherhood, in a traditional aspect, you think of the 1950s housewife who's solely devoted to her family, but on the inside, she’s probably going crazy. And so I think we’re slowly moving away from that, but there's plenty of people that still represent it currently. I think there's also so much more to us as people. We’re dynamic and layered, and we have so many needs other than just caregiving and providing.

If things are really good and harmonious, savor it, because it's going to change.

And if things are really challenging, and miserable or overwhelming, that too, is going to change. So really living in the present, and just savoring the times that are harmonious rather than sensing impending doom. [Laughs] The only constant is change. Savor the times that are peaceful and content and balanced, and know that the hardship is going to change just quickly. If you knew it was going to be different the very next day, then it would probably be far less burdensome, because it never feels that temporary when you're living in it. Remind me that I said that! [Laughs.]

It's important for moms to give themselves permission, because as caregivers, that's not our first instinct. It could be permission to enjoy the moment, even though there's twenty million other things that need to be done, or permission to not play Barbies and get something on your own list tackled. Permission is my word of the year, but I think that it applies really well to motherhood.