Christina, 39, Doctor of Obstetrics & Gynecology | San Luis Obispo, CA

I feel like the word traditional is ever changing. One of the biggest differences is, for me, because of how much I work, it's hard for me to do a lot of the things maybe a lot of moms can do. And that's not to take away from anyone else’s work schedule or ability. But, it's difficult for me to do drop off and pick up, and make dinner, and make cute lunches … you know, all the things that I think when you think of being a mom, and being able to do all the sports and go to all the things, even doctor's appointments, and pediatrician appointments … It's been really hard to do, to sort of be this, like, wonder mom and do everything.

I think it's also wonderful because my kids get such a variety of care. They're with my mom a lot. We have a wonderful nanny; my sister's here. I don't know if it's not traditional, but in a way, it's this group effort, to raise my kids. And so I think that's super fun.

[About others’ perception of her] I honestly have no clue [laughs.] I don't know! I think people think that from social media and the things they see on the outside, I think I'm perceived as sort of this mom who can do everything. I think superficially, it seems like things are always sort of put together. I think people are always asking, how do you work so much? And, how do you do this? And, how do you do that? When I think the underlying thing that people don't realize is, I have so much help. I think their perception of being able to do it all is really just this superficial outlook on, like, the beautiful mess underneath it, you know?

My mom was this mom who could, like, fix my clothes, who does the cleaning, and the cooking and is there for everything. My dad worked five days a week, he came home, and we all sat and had dinner. Culture and tradition and all those things are ever changing; I think it's really difficult to stem away from the base of what our culture has started with: traditionally, this perfect family with [a] husband, wife, and two kids. There's always this underlying representation or thought of what [a] traditional family looks like. We are moving towards and are striving towards something better, and this more universal view of what a family should look like, but when something has been something for so long, it's just this ingrained thing that you have to move away from.

[Would you do anything differently?] I don't think so. Me and my husband, we obviously went through a lot of school, and so we started having children later in life. Everyone always tells you there is no right time to have kids … you just try and find this time that fits with life, financially, and things like that. But I didn't realize how much I would enjoy having children, and if I could have five million more, I would, so probably I would have started a little earlier, to be able to accommodate that [laughs].

My biggest piece of advice for any sort of mom is- and I tell myself this all the time- it’s just a phase. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the little things: the big tantrums and the not sleeping well, but I realized … It's literally a phase. It will last somewhere between one to three months and it’s maybe a really miserable one to three months … and then it clears up. And then another phase comes. Enjoy, because it is literally just a phase.

Having children … has really changed … not the way that I practice, per se, but … not being able to control your own body, and the way that it looks, and the way that it's being shaped, and the weight that I was gaining, was eye opening to me. I feel it's definitely bettered me in what I do. It's really helped me strengthen my relationships with my patients.

The way I found out [I was pregnant] with my first is, I was so fatigued, but I had just come off a really bad stint of calls. And so, I'm like a one-cup-of-coffee type of gal. I don't ever drink more. I was drinking like four cups of coffee a day! It's just like, soul sucking exhaustion. And my sister was like, you need to take a pregnancy test. She knew! And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about! And I took a pregnancy test. I was pregnant! But it's like, those little things, where when a woman comes in, and she’s like, I'm tired, I'm fatigued- you feel it, you feel this literal life sucking out of you.