Sarah Jorgensen, 40 (whoop!) Registered nurse, personal trainer and owner of Sara J Fitness | Templeton, CA
I was never like most girls or women that grew up knowing that they wanted to be a mother. I don't think I ever want to get married or have kids. I want to just have a career. I wanted to have, like, the Sex in the City life, right? But then I met my now husband. And I still say that if I hadn't met him, I would still not be married, because it was just him uniquely- he was such a special person- that I was like, Okay, well, I'll marry him. And that was the best decision I ever made.
But it was the same thing where I was like, I don't think I'm cut out to be a mother. Serendipitously, it turned out to be the best thing in my life. Like, I can't imagine my life without her.
My daughter and my husband are the most important things in the world to me, but I try to still be authentic to myself, and I still try to achieve my dreams and my goal.
The most common comment that I get from people is, Oh, you're so perfect. They just label me as quote unquote, perfect. And, I hate that. I know that they don't mean it in a malicious way. But it almost hurts my feelings when they say that. Because it just makes me feel not authentic and, like, Oh, I'm faking this view of myself. Like, I’m faking that there's nothing wrong, when [ in fact] I feel like I'm a very open person. Do I work really, really hard to put my best face forward and not be someone who wakes up every day with a negative attitude? Or complain about all the stuff that's wrong in my life? You know, I don't roll out of bed and wear yoga pants all day long. I try to present my best face forward to the world. I try to see things very “glass half full” as often as possible. That's the side of myself that I choose to show the world.
I think people still have a really hard time with accepting a woman who is a strong woman, a strong personality. And a lot of it is from older generations of females who grew up during the time of, ‘A woman’s place is in the home.’ You know, we always stayed home and took care of the kids and looked nice and couldn’t gain weight. And so it's crazy because a lot of it's been perpetuated by women, the older generations, women to younger women. After all the advancements we've made, all the strides we've made- [it’s still like] Oh, wait, but you're still a woman. You'll never be good enough to compete with men or leave the country or any of those things.
I have had the luxury of being married for 10 years.
I think it'd be different if I had [my daughter] younger, had to work. You know, luckily, I worked full time for a little bit when she was really little. But I was able to recognize pretty quickly that that wasn't going to go very well. And I'm very fortunate that I don't have to work full time, that I can be there for my daughter more. Because I don't want to ever live with the regrets. I want her to always have memories of me and her dad being there for her, for everything. Looking back, I haven't had any real regrets as far as motherhood. It's been really good. It's been a really fun journey.
I think everyone just has to do things their own way and listen to your heart. And I think some of the best decisions that I've ever made in my life are ones that I did based on my faith, based on gut feeling. And really taking a step back and trying not to live by fear, I think, is a big thing. Life is too short; you have to just go for it. And the worst thing that can happen is maybe you fail. But maybe you don’t! Maybe you end up being really, really happy and successful as a parent, spouse, a business owner … whatever it is just to live fearlessly.